Signs that You Should See a Marriage Counselor

The Benefits of Marriage Counseling

Marriage is a wonderful union between two people who are committed to spending the rest of their lives together, but some couples don’t truly acknowledge (or expect) the amount of work that needs to be put into cultivating a healthy, loving, lasting relationship. It’s often difficult to navigate this and a marriage counselor can often help to sort things out.

Sometimes, the sides aren’t equal and that may lead to arguments and an unhealthy living environment. A therapist or marriage counselor can help you and your partner by providing an open space and the right (healthy) tools to communicate how you’re truly feeling.

The signs that you and your significant other could benefit from seeing marriage counselor aren’t always crystal clear. Hopefully, after reading this list of questions, you’ll be better equipped to examine your own relationship and see if marriage counseling is the next step.

Questions to Ask Yourself

1. Do you and your spouse argue constantly?

Sharing the same space with a person for an extended period of time, whether you’re newlyweds or you’ve been married for 20 years, is bound to cause some tension. However, the problem stems from continuous bickering, especially those conversations about the small things that seem to be blown out of proportion or the arguments about the same topic over and over again. Negative communication includes anything that leaves one partner feeling judged, shamed, disregarded, insecure, or wanting to withdraw from the conversation;” the tone of voice also plays a large role.

2. Are you unfaithful to your spouse?

Although you may automatically jump to sexually unfaithful (and, of course, that’s one aspect of what this question is referring to), being unfaithful can also be emotionally or financially.

3. Do you and your spouse spend more time apart than together?

Careers aside, this question looks at whether you spend more time in separate rooms of the house when you’re both home. It could mean that you dread returning home or look for ways to stay out longer. Another aspect would be barely speaking when you’re both together.

4. Do you feel like grudges and/or jealousy have taken up space in your relationship?

Much like constantly rehashing the same arguments, grudges never are a welcome guest in a relationship, especially when one partner purposely brings up the grudge to make the other feel bad. Jealousy is a natural emotion, and being jealous happens to everyone, but when it’s becoming a feeling that you’re having often, it’s time to examine why and what you and your spouse can do about it.

5. Is the affection you give or receive being affected?

This question relates to not only the quality of your more intimate moments, but also to the way you and your partner communicate. Sometimes one person in a relationship might use the “silent treatment” to withhold affection from the other.

If any of these questions relate to your relationship, then it’s a good time to see a marriage counselor. Healthy communication is key to maintaining a loving relationship, and couples who seek help sooner have a better chance of making the relationship stronger and survive longer. When you’re ready to open the dialogue between you and your spouse, give Family First Therapy a call